Beyond The Moon  


Stress.  Jackson Galaxy, (I don't imagine that's his real name.) probably knows more about the psychology of cats than any human alive.  Cats with behavioral problems can put more stress on a household than most people might think, (unless you happen to have a cat with a behavioral problem).  I've seen him cure behavioral problems that I would have thought were incurable.  Galaxy once said, "Everyone has pain and stress in their lives from time to time.  It's unavoidable.  But suffering is a choice."

I don't think that's always true.  Sometimes you're forced to suffer things that are simply beyond your control but nevertheless, I do believe it's true a great deal of the time.

I've been going through tremendous levels of stress for quite a while now and if that's not bad enough, the stresses keep piling on.  As it's gone on for some time now, you could say I've been suffering, although as I mentioned a week or so back, it's nothing a big pile of money couldn't cure.

The stress has been bad enough to where I've only eaten twice in 5 days, and then nowhere near as much as usual.  Today at lunch, I had a cup of coffee and...a cup of coffee and...a cup of coffee.  I sat there at lunch however, with a couple of friends of mine, known in the diner as "the Muppets", I suppose, for their entertainment value, and they are a couple of funny guys.  We manage to keep each other amused.

Both of the "Muppets" are old bikers, one of whom is called "Cheeseburger", which I presume is not his real name either.

"Cheeseburger" was wondering why I hadn't been eating anything lately and without going into any specifics, I told him that I'd been under a lot of stress and worry lately and was trying to figure out how to get out from under it.  Without missing a beat, Cheeseburger warned me, "Take my word for it man.  Get out from under it now, as soon as you can.  Don't put it off waiting for things to change because it probably won't get any better."

Cheeseburger explained that he was only 59 years old, (younger than me but then, who isn't?) and he was under so much stress and worry that he'd already had 2 heart attacks and was due in for another heart surgery in a couple weeks.  He told me that he finally decided to just walk away from it all and now felt so much better that he did.  He reminded me that life is short enough not to spend your last years of it happy and again, do it now.  Don't wait.

As Cheeseburger explained all this to me, I couldn't help occasionally glancing at the big, ugly scar running down his chest and thinking, that although he was younger than me, he looked a lot older.  At least, I thought he did.

A lot of things ran through my mind.  There was Jackson Galaxy's quote about stress and pain being unavoidable but that suffering was a choice.  There was Cheeseburger's admonition not to wait until it was too late.  There was also Christopher Titus' warning us that you might as well end the suffering as soon as you can because you don't get a rebate card to get back the years you lost.

I'm not independently wealthy and it's highly unlikely that a big pile of money is going to unexpectedly fall in my lap and solve all my problems.  I'm going to have to do something without money, or at least with the piddly-ass amount I currently make.

I know this stress is not only bad for me, it's going to really fuck me up if I don't stop it.  I'll end up like Cheeseburger...or worse.  I'm not absolutely sure what I'm going to do yet, but I know I'm going to have to make some huge lifestyle changes and I'm going to have to do it quick.  Of course, it wouldn't hurt me to lose a few pounds first.  Then again, I probably can't afford the time!  Darwin